Isaiah 40:8 and Choosing Joy

Sometimes I get really wrapped up in the circumstances of my life. In good ones and negative ones. The Lord has given me many blessings and for that I am so thankful. However, I do not want to start building my joy on nature of these things. The Lord is so good and wants us to embrace His blessings. But, I know if I'm not careful, the state of my joy will start to depend on how the circumstances of my life are going. I will bask to often in the light of blessing and not in the light of my Savior.

No matter the situation and no matter the people I have in my life, the only one true constant in my life is the Lord. He is never changing and always there. I sometimes go through phases where I allow life's joys to carry me through each day. But, it only takes one word of hurt, one inconsistency, to make my joy come tumbling down. I am reminded in that instance that the only true thing I can build my joy on is Christ. Whether I am soaring on a cloud of blessing or down in the dumps of discouragement, the Lord's promises still ring true. His Word is good and unchanging. It is always constant and consistent. I pray we can all build joy on His Truth daily.

"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever." Isaiah 40:8

My dad and step mom once gave me a lesson while I was in college about choosing joy daily. We are freely given joy each day in Christ. Sometimes, we can just feel it and are overflowing with it. Other days...we really have to choose to have it. We have access to a fountain of joy...it is in Christ, in Truth, in His Spirit. If we are not readily feeling joyful....we just have to dig for it. It's there in His promises. So..when you are at the point where you can either snap or walk away...choose joy. When you are faced with a new day and you can either be grateful or despaired...choose joy. When you are faced with a rude employee or classmate...choose joy :) It will change your daily outlook and will keep you grounded on Who really is constant in your life.

A Taste Of Grace...And A Good Book To Check Out

My boss, Sharon, and I decided to read a book together back in Novemeber to discuss weekly over some dripolater coffee goodness. Seeing how it is March and we just finished, you can tell it's been a crazy couple months. However, the book was fantastic, and I totally recommend it. It is called "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller. This book is a good read if you need a little bit of redefinition of God's grace in your life and need a healthy soul check up.

The author bases the book off of a the well known parable of the prodigal son. Except, he does not focus on the younger son messing up then returning to the father....he focuses on the bad attitude and pharisee type attitude of the older brother. Hearing the story of the prodigal son in church growing up, I never once thought about the older brother. The parable isnt taught in a way that brings attention to him. However, the author points out how the older brother has just as big of a problem as the younger brother. Some may ask, "why? the older brother isnt the one who demanded his inheritance early, left, then squandered all of his riches!". That's exactly the mentality that makes the older brother just as spritually in trouble as the younger brother. You will have to read it to see why! (I actually wrote out a little summary...but erased it..I dont want to spoil it for you!)

But, I will tell you some things I learned from reading this book. I took a lot away about grace. I was reminded that grace is not cheap. Grace that the Lord gives to us is undoubtably free and is received from no doing of our own, BUT it came at a cost. The cost of Jesus dying on the cross. We can't earn grace and we don't deserve it, but it is given. It got me thinkng how we are called to extend grace to others. It is harder then it sounds sometimes. If there is no such thing as cheap grace...and it is free to who we are giving it to...then there must be a cost on our end. Forgiveness and mercy always require some kind of sacrifice. A good example is if someone stole from you (whether it be a material object or pieces of your heart...you decide). If you show that person true grace and forgive them...they owe you nothing anymore. You dont require your necklace back, any of your wasted time back, or any kind of apologies after you have truly extended grace. It's finished. Was it free?..sure for them. It came at a cost to you though...financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually...whatever. But you do it becuase that is grace. There is no cheap grace. But that should remind us and identify us with Christ and the sacrifice He made so we could have grace and be forgiven.

Also, a prerequisite for receiving and giving grace is knowing you need it. Lately, grace has been blowing my mind!! I have some sweet blessings in my life which I know I did nothing to deserve (believe me, not one thing did I do). Yet, why does the Lord continue to bless and provide for me? Merciful grace. Ugh..just makes me speechless. I hope my heart understands that His grace is enough for me and that I need it daily!

Anyway..the book is a good quick little read..despite how long it took me and Sharon to read. So, definitely give it a read! 

Lessons Learned from the Best Teachers :)

This weekend, I get to go home for a week! I'm so ready to see my family and just be in their company. My boyfriend gets to come with me and meet the gang. I'm pretty stoked. At one point though, I was worried about all the ways that I could possibly be embarrassed at home..because..lets face it, who knows you better then your family? But, as time goes on and the longer it's been since I've been home...I'm constantly reminded how my family has made me who I am and how God has used them each in a special way to teach me great things. So, in honor of going home to be with the fam..this blog is for them.

My dad has been a vessel in my life. Not only was he the one that guided me into a personal relationship with Christ, but he has been there for me in every step of my walk with Him. When he had to move to ATL, he would send encouraging cards and letters every week to keep us connected. We had a cute teddy bear with a picture of a clock on it (weird, but we won it at a fair) and we would trade every time we saw each other and take turns having the bear to pass the time. Something my dad has taught me, and still teaches me, is what seeking God looks like. Through him I see what it means to desire a life lived for the Lord. He is humble, hardworking, and loving..and I know he brings glory to God in all of it. I also think my dad has contributed a lot to my sillyness. He is always saying goofy things and making funny faces. He used to wake my brother and I up sometimes by acting like a dog or singing the "good morning" song in a funny voice. It was awesome. We send each other text messages with movie quotes in them all the time, just to relive funny moments. Thats just a small dose of the wonderful things I've learned from dad. I hope I have all the cool things Im proud of my dad for in me!

My momma! What a strong and brave woman! You would never believe all the things she has been through if you met her. She is strong, determined..really funny, kinda sassy, and so loving. She never ever gives up and in everything she seeks to help others. My mom has taught me what it means to persevere in the Lord and give and live out hope. I remember going through some of the roughest of times, but she made them better somehow just in her attitude. A house of no electricity or running water turned into a game of "little house on the prairie". Her hope in the Lord is contagious. She can take just about anything and turn it into something cool. Shes super artsy and creative. I remember one night when I was younger, my brother and I were upset about something (could have been anything..a storm, etc) and we stayed up way past our bed times singing "On Top of Spaghetti" with her. We were making up new ridiculous verses and trying to rhyme..and laughing really hard. Im pretty sure we still do crap like that all the time at home. My mom also taught me how to be there for people and how to listen. She's always there for others, and even in her own trials..she has taken a back seat to be there for someone else. I have learned many other countless and amazing things from my mom and I pray I have many qualities like her!

My brudda. Gosh, he's great. Kevin is funny, talented, loyal and has the biggest heart. Kevin never ceases to amaze me with his generosity and loyalty to the people he cares about. My brother and I are super close, and  that is something I am so thankful for. My mom used to yell at me when I was little because when she wasnt looking I'd pull him out of the play pen so we could play. We have never really had a phase where we couldnt stand each other. We've had our moments like normal siblings. He likes telling the story about how when he was 2 and I was 4, I sent him to the hospital (on accident of course!) by hitting him with a toy purse..I was pretty sure at the time he was trying to steal it from me. One time, we were fighting over the last bagel in the house, and I grabbed it and stuck it in my mouth..thinking "ha, he cant have it now". He pulled it out anyway..ripping one of my not-yet- loose teeth out with it. But, Kevin and I laugh a lot when were together and it has always been that way! Kevin has taught me what it means to be true to yourself. He has never been anything he isnt and he is always honest. He has also taught me to have no fear. He has dealt with a lot for such a young man, but he never once has turned away from challenges. He faces them whether he wants to or not. And in all of it, he stays humble and kind hearted. He is always helping people out, and that is another thing I admire about my bro. I wish I got some of the same genetics he got.

Im really blessed and Im thankful for the family I have been given. God is GOOD and He shows me His love and grace through my awesome family everyday. I cant wait to see them in a few short days!

Taped to the Steering Wheel of My Car

Life has been busy. At work we've been making lots of decisions on staff to hire, answering and sending crazy numbers of emails, and I've been working on writing devotional guides for the counselors to use with their campers over the summer. Some of us from the office even did a little "research project" on scoping out a possible new camper trip to a Zipline tour (if you've never been ziplining..you need to find a way to do it!). Along with all the physical busy-ness, I've been mentally busy with figuring out grad school stuff, meditating over cabin devotions, and anticipatiing going home to see my familly and boyfriend. It's been a happily productive week. But, today...I felt the blow of it all hit me. Because my mind has been so busy...lies from the enemy and confusion found their way into my thoughts. I started to worry and feel discouraged about all that I have been doing. I felt overwhelmed and panic stricken with all I'm responsible for and confused about where my future is going. With me, when I start to worry about one thing...it opens a floodgate for everything else going on (I guess my subconscious figures if Im worrying..might as well worry about it all).

As I was walking home from work, I looked up to the sky and let a out a huge sigh..aka..a distress call to the Lord. I told Him that I need Him to make Himself known. I then became aware of my time spent with Him lately. Not cool. My time spent with the Lord has not been fruitful or still. I haven't been seeking out His presence daily in my life. I had a verse...one that got me through some rough times last year...taped to the steering wheel of my car.

Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Why is that not still taped to my steering wheel? (I actually think I had my window open and it blew off somewhere...anyway...) We know fully and believe He will make our paths straight. We know He gives us joy, and not only knows our desires, but make them His own. What I love about this verse is "IN YOUR PRESENCE".  The Lord is always with us. But, when I'm seeking out His presence, will, and path for my life...I find joy. When I'm still with Him in a quiet place...the confusion of life dissolves. When I'm in His presence daily among the busy-ness of life...He makes known to me the path of life. It never ceases to amaze me all the clarity I get when I actually spend time with my God and seek His face.

It is usually during these crazy times of worry and discouragement when we are drawn back to the Cross. Christ totally shows up in our doubts and fears and pulls us back. So...Im going out in the cold to tape that verse back up in my car to remind me to seek His presence. God knows I need that daily!

(Listen to "Lead Me to the Cross" by Chris and Conrad...Ive been listening to it over and over tonight)

A Funny Story for Carrie

I want to dedicate this story to Carrie, who needs a little laugh today.

Today while chatting with my mom on the phone, she made me remember a bizarre experience I had this time a couple years ago. There have only been a few times in my life where I have had, not necessarily a near death experience, but a moment where I was scared for my well being. I feel some are definitley worth sharing.  This specific situation left me literally running for my life. Let me recount the situation for you.

It was a lovely Sunday in March and I decided to go for a run outside for the first time that year..not in the gym like I had been all winter. I was living with my friends in a nice townhouse complex. There was a neat path that wrapped around the buildings and went around back to a lake behind the community. It was surrounded by trees and was away from noise..and...to far for anyone to hear you scream. 

I was thumping along, headphones in, music blaring and enjoying my run around the lake. All of a sudden, I feel a tug at my ponytail. Not a big one, but enough for me to slow down and look back. I saw nothing. A second or two later..I felt it again. This time, I saw a huge black bird swoop up to a tree ahead of me. It was so large, it had me stop and stare at it. Was it that bird that tugged on my hair? Before I can say to myself "surely not" it came flying at me, dropping to my level. I ducked, but felt it grab my hair again. Holy crap..this bird was trying to eat me! I turn around and see it land on a branch, (please picture the next part happening in slow motion..because thats how I remember it)..I see it start taking off towards me again...I jump up and take off running. With a rock song blasting on my ipod shuffle, I began running faster then I knew I could.  (Where was that when I was on cross country? Ironically, my coach lived in my complex..too bad he didnt see me...if not to save me, at least to see I had it in me) This enormous bird was flying tree to tree along side of me..waiting for me to collapse with exhaustion. It was waiting for me to give up and die! I started wailing my arms (ya know, whipping out the self defense moves). For a brief moment, I felt panic. What was it going to do to me if I stopped? Probably peck my eyes out, or beak me to death. Finally, after what felt like the longest run of my life..I arrived to my door step. The ferocious beast had backed off. I entered my apartment and collapsed. My roommates, I think heard me coming, and ran to my aid. They couldn't believe what I was telling them. I told them to imagine Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". I know, I didnt think that movie was scary either. But you just wait until it actually happens to you..then its scary as crap! I survived my first, and hopefully only, deadly attack. Go me!

It is safe to say..I didn't run outside for awhile. I was skiddish around birds for a bit as well. I have recovered...but, I can rack that up to one of the most odd moments Ive ever had. I laugh now..and try to picture what I must have looked like. But, seriously...what was that about? I'm outdoors often.. in the forest and in the ocean..and this is how nature decides to attack. Not that I'm looking to be eaten or ripped to shreds..but if I'm gonna be chased..couldn't it had been by a bear or tiger?!
Carrie, I hope you enjoyed that :) If you start to feel sad, think of all the happy memories you and Princess had...and about me running like a crazy lady away from the dragon...i mean black bird..a huge black bird.

All This from a Sleeve of Crackers...

(Preface: I am in the middle of writing cabin devotions for the campers and staff of next summer. So my brain is in the analogy and example mindset these days) For part of my lunch today, I had to open a sleeve of crackers. Now..I don't think I have ever opened a package of crackers, cookies or anything like that without breaking the first five in the sleeve. The more I think about it, anything requiring opening by me usually ends up in breakage or disablement of some kind. If the contents inside are unharmed...then the box or case it came in is usually mascaraed.  Especially when it comes to food, there is just no time! I just want to eat and tare into whatever it is. Cereal usually ends up decorating the room, and don't get me started on cd's. Those were the worst. The case would always crack because I'd use some foreign object (aka my teeth) to open the plastic. So, whats my deal? Most everything comes with instructions. Even Poptarts! It's not that I can't follow instructions..or that I'm stupid and can't open a package of crackers (haha well...). 
The real issue is I want to do everything my way...because I am inpatient, and I think it's ok as long as I get to the good stuff. The Lord must get so frustrated with me because that's how I can be with Him. He gives us instructions, even promises, but I tweak His way and make it obtainable for myself. But, that always ends in disaster..and some sort of mess for me to clean up. Sometimes we even see instruction as a nuisance. On a bigger scale, when He gives us laws like not having idols and committing adultry..or tells us not to let any substance consume our lives...any of those type of "instructions", He gives us with good reason. We all have seen the damage of what not living by those can cause....maybe directly or indirectly. NOW LET ME BE CLEAR...our salvation and who we are in Christ is NOT based on how we can keep laws or rules. In fact, those are there for us to see right from wrong...and so we can see our need for a Savior because of how incapable we are of being perfect. But..how much less messy would our lives be if we let the Lord's instruction guard our hearts. We don't have to be perfect...we have a Savior who has given us access to all we need to rely on. And better yet..He died so our messes can be made clean. Let's be joyful in that we have good instruction to keep us from coming out broken..and when we do break (and we will sometimes)..there is no condemnation, and we are made new.

All this from opening a sleeve of crackers. Yep.

Just For Fun

So, a few months ago my friend from work showed me this website...and I am hooked. Just like Facebook, if you don't want to waste time..don't go to the site. It is addicting. But, I like to use the site as a good pick me up if I need something to get my mind elsewhere and can't leave my desk. It is stumbleupon.com. You log on and select all the things you're interested in..culture, sports, baking..etc..you can pick however many you want. Then every time you hit  the "stumble" button, it brings you to a new random site. I stumble across the most interesting  information, pictures, videos, recipes...it's pretty wicked. Today, I stumbled upon these two RANDOM things...

He looks like he is praying haha it made me smile. And also "9 Things You Didn't Know About Starbucks".
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1s0H8X/www.womansday.com/Articles/Food/Recipes/9-Things-You-Didn-t-Know-About-Starbucks.html  I worked at Starbucks for a year and a half, and didn't know any of those things.

Just thought I'd share that fun site with you. Be careful..it's addictive.

Have Hope. Better Yet, Have Certainty!

I love hearing what words and descriptions mean in the Hebrew context because it allows me to fully grasp the intended meaning of scripture. A few weeks ago at church, I learned that the word "hope" in Hebrew translates to meaning "certainty and/or to be certain". In that context, how much does that change the impact on you when you're told to have "hope in Christ" or to be "joyful in hope". We use hope in the English language as something more as a wish or desire. In that context, being told to have hope seems as something we have to keep waiting for, wishing for. But, when we change "hope" to "certainty"", we no longer see the verse in the light as in something we desire...we have it! We have hope..but, better..we have certainty. We are hopeful, because we are confident...certain, in all Jesus is and what He has done. Was that just a neat eye opener for me..or does anyone else think that's awesome?

Try changing some verses with hope over to the context of certainty. Some examples...
Matthew 12:21 " and His name will be the certainty of all the world"
Romans 15:13 "I pray that God, the source of certainty, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident certainty through the power of the Holy Spirit."
1 Corinthians 13:7 "Love never gives up, never loses faith, and is always certain, and endures through every circumstance."

Whats on repeat these days...

If you are anything like me, then you appreciate hearing new music and are interested in what other people are listening to. I was introduced to Ben Rector a few weeks ago. Now, I can't stop listening to him. Check him out!

Be still and know

For my first blog ever..ahhh weird, I'm a blogger now..I thought Id give you some background on where my heart is in this stage of my life...ya know..so were all on the same page for future reference. Is that alright? Good!

My greatest struggle has always been facing the unknown. I hated it. Hate is a strong word...so that should clarify how I feel about the unknown. Ask anyone who knows me well..they know I hate being lost. It is the worst feeling. That feeling you get when you stop and look around, recognize nothing and have no idea where you came from, and you know with every inch you go..you are probably just making yourself more lost..yea, that feeling...I hate it. I want to take every situation like that and punch it in the face! Thankfully, I have a loving boyfriend looking out for me and lets me use his GPS on trips (shout out, baby :). Maybe I'm just dumb and get myself into scary situations more so than most people. In which case, I should probably be a little worried and concerned anyway. But, in reality..I realized thats how I felt  in my relationship with the Lord.  I grew up thinking "yea, I trust Him. He has plans for me..He's totally got my back..Jeremiah 29:11..blah blah...". What I wasn't thinking about was how superficial my level of faith was. How could I say I trust Him if even...(in the very basic of examples)..the thought of driving to a new place made me want to throw up. I feel like a common lesson I hear from people in their walks with God is learning to trust. I would say that was my issue, but I found it went much deeper then just trusting. With trust aside..my life wasn't grounded on who the Lord really is.

So, Im a college graduate. Woohoo!...yea..avoid it as long as possible though if you can. Just kidding..it's great. But, really..no rush. Anywho, the year of my graduation there were various situations in my life unraveling. Many of which had been slowly for years prior, but that year they hit the spool. It's safe to say..I was a little scared. I had that lost feeling I hate so much constantly, but on a spiritual level. No GPS could or would get me out of that valley (unless we're speaking metaphorically..if so, I have an analogy on that...but that's another blog for ya). Long story short..all ends of every situation left me feeling lost, mad, ugly, stupid, bitter..you can probably come up with more depressing words to add on your own. My family was hurting and I felt like I couldnt be strong anymore. I was always faithful and prayful and crying out to the Lord, but where was He? If I was living my life for Him, why wasn't He showing up when I needed Him most? One day, I cant pinpoint when or how it was exactly...but in the stillness, He was whispering. For so long I was angry and frustrated, too busy throwing a pitty-party for myself (dont rsvp if you ever get invited to one of those) and didnt realize my loss of purpose came from a loss of who God is. I was looking for joy in what I could do to make better the plan the Lord has for me, rather then finding delight in who He is. Without knowing who God is, I had no real joy..and couldnt understand the plan for my life. See the cycle of ridiculousness?

Here was my conclusion..and my biggest life lesson to date...and I have it branded on my foot to forever remind me. No matter who I am, where I am in life or where I am going, He is sovereign. He not only has control over my life, but He deserves control. We act like we can give Him control, but He has it. Its just whether or not we decide to give it up without a fight. With that, as someone who wants to serve Him, I need to see that. Graciously, He is a Lord that gives love and hope and blessings! But, if one day He decided to take it away..that would have to be ok with me. When I finally let that hit me...really, it was more like a smack in the face then a tickle of affection... I knew that where I was going in life didnt matter anymore. My only goal in life is to glorify and serve Him and all that include; love and devotion. This purpose is the plan for my life. In whatever specific plan unraveled before me, my purpose remains true. It will be the same tomorrow as it was the day I gave my heart to Him. It's the same as it was the day He created me. It will be the same the day I get married and the day I have kids. It will be the same if the day comes that the Lord tells me that will never happen for me. It will be the same if I get the job of my dreams or if the Lord allows the roof above my head to be taken away. My purpose would still be the same even if I were a flower or a sparrow. All which were created for His glory; His plan...not mine. Also all of which though He cares for. And so much more for me and you then the birds of the sky. Knowing this so well in my soul as been freeing. So freeing in fact, I know a joy I haven't in all my years of following my Savior. I not only have a the love of a God who knows my heart so well, and will see me through, He allows me to live with a purpose that always falls into His plan. I can try to do things on my own. I can be worried and frustrated, and I can question God's reasoning and authority in every instance. OR I could be still. I could be still and know that God is sovereign. That He is merciful.  That He is good. The unknown isnt as scary when you have peace from a God who provides. Boo-ya scary unknown abyss I like to call the future! You're donesky!

So..with that all said and done...this is my life's challenge. It is a very much a challenge and with it there will be lessons learned and stories to tell. Not to mention probably some absurdities and silliness to share too. I cant promise wonders...I am not that original and creative. But, Im learning and growing..and that definitely gives me something to say...and a reason to write.